It's likely to get better or worse

First time I'm writing in english ...

Well , I've known all my life that I'm not a typical girl ... I've spent part of my childhood as a little yellow bird who discovered lots of things and situations for adults very fast so I didn´t grow in an ordinary way.

Now i'm not sure what is my real intention or what's the point where i want to get ; I'm a bit confused today .. I really don't know what's the correct way , what's the  buttom to run away and press it and feel much better ? Can someone discover it for me ? Please it's an emergency.

I've been listening to Paramore since the early afternoon when i was thinking of you , well...to be sincere it's not new , i spend a lot of time thinking of you . The amazing Haley was singing about a fool girl who had let her heart wins and obviously it had terrible results. Then a 'cursi' song which talked about the love as a custom ... and yeah I know..I've been wasting my time...

I'm sure that when you get older , life becomes more difficult and it may be worse for me if I don't glued my eyes in my future and my soul. Yeah.. my soul which has been infected .

I didn't want to fall in love but I did. I didn't want it because I'm not the best student in this subject , I'm fool and I always finish hopelessly devoted to the person who i love with. I give my two thousand per cent....I'm thinking hard about it but I guess I will never amount to anything... My ideas have been changed day by day and I really don't know why ... if you are all that I want ... Your feelings for me have an important value in my life . I know it's nonsense .. and I don't want to feel in this way .

I've been glued to a pink life but not anymore . What can i do ? Is it him ? is it love ? What about us ? What about me ?What about everything we've been trought?

I thought you were my fairytale but then you went and changed the view ... I sometimes wonder if you know what you mean to me .

And i wanna sing our song again , when there was me and you ... I'm afraid but I have to say what's on my mind ...

I'm angry because life is getting in the way ..and it's hard to say but I've to do what's the best for me..and you too..You're likely to be okay. Don't wanna leave it all behind ! But I feed my hopes and watch them all fall every time.

And it's so hard to watch it all slowly fade away....

To be continued...